A deficiency in communication, however, is in reality something that could be solved relatively simply and among the most effective directions to solve it is to arrange communicating rules. This entails guidelines that would help oneself better the effectiveness of your communicating as a couple.

1. Have A Speaking Stick- It is often helpful to have a speaking stick in the home when you need to have a conversation with your spouse and want to be sure that you are being heard and understood, as well as making sure your partner gets their chance to speak. When you utilize a speaking stick, only the person with the stick is allowed to speak and therefore you eliminate talking at the same time and not hearing what your partner is saying and vise versa.

2. Stay Focused On One Issue At A Time- What often happens when a couple is discussing something, they tend to get off track and bring up issues from the past. This is not a means to effective communication, and is also not what the issue is at the moment. Even if you think that something from the past also relates to what you are discussing, it should still not be brought into the current conversation. If you stay focused on one issue at a time, you will be able to effectively communicate and resolve all issues that you, as a couple, are facing.

3. Wait Before You Speak- When a problem arises couples often want to discuss it then and there, and this can cause for a very heated argument, as both will be agitated and defensive. Instead, create a specific day and time where you can sit down and discuss the issues that arise during the week. This gives you and your spouse a change to think about the issues and what you would like ot communicate to your spouse. This will allow you to both discuss all the issues rationally and without getting into a heated argument.

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A – ALWAYS treat each other with respect and kindness. Love is an important aspect of a marriage but without respect for each other communication breaks down and the marriage begins to crumble. Respect is the cornerstone of a good relationship and no marriage can survive without it.

B- Have you ever looked at an elderly married couple and wonder how they have dealt with each other for so long? The answer is simple, they are each others BEST friend. Your spouse needs to be someone that you trust with your life, feel secure with and share your deepest secrets and desires. It is simple to share a bed and a home with someone, however having a meaningful relationship is not that simple. When you and your spouse are each others best friend you have the main ingredient for a long lasting, healthy marriage.

C – CARRY them. Don’t be afraid to carry your spouse through their difficult times in life and don’t be afraid to get carried some of the time too. When personal tragedies arise, we can all use someone to be there for us and be strong for us. Having a relationship in which one person can help take care of the other in their time of need, is a valuable part of a marriage, and one of the things that makes this partnership so special.

S- Marriage is the most SACRED part of your relationship. It should be in the most important aspect of your life and nothing should every take priority above it. When you treat your marriage as something very special and unique you are setting yourself up for a very happy life with your spouse.

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The following are some tips that can help you cool things off a bit so that tiny annoyances don’t build into insurmountable problems.

1. Keep It In Perspective- Little things can be overlooked. Your spouse is not perfect but neither are you, so try to focus on all the wonderful ways that your spouse enhances your life.

2. Excuse Yourself For A Moment- If you are finding it difficult to focus on the positive step away for a moment to calm your self down. Breathing exercises work wonders with this. Once you have cleared your head, you will be able focus on the positive and speak to your spouse in a calm and rational way.

3. Discuss, Don’t Fight- If there is an annoyance in your marriage that you just can not take anymore and you feel may get out of control if you keep silent any longer as your spouse if you can sit and discuss it. When you sit with your spouse you want to make sure that you do not get petty and most of all you do not scream or yell. Talk calmly and rationally until you can come to a solution that will suit both of you.

4. Do Things To Build Your Relationship- Many people don’t realize the value of taking time out of the day to to bond with each other. Participate in a shared interest, go to dinner, or plan a romantic getaway. You will find that your spouse annoys you less when you feel attached to them.

5. Laugh- Laughter is truly the best medicine. As long as you are not making fun of your spouse, or becoming an annoyance yourself sometimes the best thing to do is make a joke about the annoyance. If you are bothered that you are always tripping over their shoes (when you have an obvious place that all the shoes go), play a game of hot and cold with them. Hide them in a spot and make your spouse find them, by only using the hints hot and cold. You will find that instead of fighting about how you tripped over the shoes again. You will be laughing at how hard your spouse is working to find them. This is a great way to turn your angry into something fun.

We tend to get stressed at our spouse to quickly, and it is something that we all need to work on in our life. Remember, you spouse is only human, same as you, and sometimes annoyance will occur. If they are handled properly, you will find that these annoyance are not only small but they will be the thing that creates and even stronger bond between the two of you.

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